


last man standing

by DesertLily



Series: Whumptober 2020 [10]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt, Episode: e119 Stranger and Stranger (The Magnus Archives), Explosion, F/M, Grief, Hurt No Comfort, Loss, NotThem - Freeform, Sasha James Dies, Self-Hatred, Survivor Guilt, Tim Stoker Dies, Whumptober, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26923762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertLily/pseuds/DesertLily
Summary: Tim tries (and fails) to remember Sasha James.
Relationships: Sasha James/Tim Stoker
Series: Whumptober 2020 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1946296
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	last man standing

**Author's Note:**

> Well this hurt to write! For the 'Survivor's Guilt' prompt for Whumptober

From the moment he had met her, Timothy Stoker had loved Sasha James. There was something about her that had simply...drew him in and who was he to resist the pull of the tide? Tim had always given his heart away with ease, unashamed of his...open sexuality. But there had been no one like Sasha before; no one he had such a strong and unquestionable crush on. She was kind and wonderful and….and  _ Tim couldn’t remember her anymore _ . He couldn’t tell you what her smile looked like or the way her eyes lit up when she found a new book or even the colour of her hair! The only reason he even knew what Sasha sounded like anymore was because of a tape! She...She had been replaced and he hadn’t noticed. 

Tim refused to believe she had been replaced at first. He had lost Danny to some bullshit entity! He wouldn’t lose Sasha too! He...He would have noticed if it wasn’t her, right? She was his  _ girlfriend _ ! Tim  _ knew _ Sasha. He had put the change in her personality down to the result of the Jane Prentiss attack. It was understandable! She was shaken by it! They all were! And when she broke up with him, Tim had just put it down to her needing space. He’d never it would be something like. It had  _ hurt _ to have Sasha leave him. He had experienced heartbreak before but never like this. Sasha...She had been someone he had imagined spending the rest of his life with. The ring box collecting dust in one of his drawers was proof of that. 

But as it turned out, it hadn’t been Sasha that broke up with him! It had been some eldritch monstrosity that had killed and replaced her! Some being that had taken over her life. It had consumed every memory he had of her; every photo. Tim didn’t know what she looked like anymore. He hadn’t for a long time. All he knew was the fact of her killer haunted every memory he had of her. Every photograph of her contained someone that wasn’t Sasha. At least, he still had photos of Danny; old family videos that he could go back and watch when he missed him. But there was no possible way to do that for Sasha. She had been the love of his life and he would never be able to remember her. 

Tim blamed himself. Of course he did, it was his natural response to everyone that went terribly in his life! Maybe if he had been more invested and concerned in Danny’s hobbies then he would still be alive! Maybe...Maybe if he had  _ actually tried _ to stick with Sasha during the Prentiss attack then she wouldn’t have been replaced; she would be there smiling and everything in the world would be okay again. Tim would feel less alone. But Tim...Tim was alone. Jon had gone fully paranoid within his investigation into Gertrude’s death  _ and now Tim was fairly certain he had killed a man _ . After all, a body had been found in Jon’s office and that really wasn’t a good look on anyone. And Martin...Martin tried but he had one fatal flaw; his love and loyalty to one Jonathan Sims. Tim didn’t have anyone to talk to anymore. He didn’t have anyone left that he trusted enough to confide in. So he was left to wallow in his own anger, self-hatred and pity. 

He tried to remember Sasha again and again. He even bought a notebook with the soul purpose of writing down everything he remembered about her but he had barely written a single sentence before he was tearing out the page. How did he know it was a trait Sasha had really had? What if it was just something her replacement had made up? Had….Had Sasha even been real to begin with? Was she just some mass hallucination? Because someone that perfect couldn’t have existed. Someone that perfect wouldn’t be forgotten. She should be immortalised in song or art or something! But she wouldn’t be. Sasha James would remain forgotten and she deserved so much better. 

There wasn’t a day that went by where Tim didn’t think of Sasha. Sasha and Danny. They were the reasons he was still doing this. He would destroy what had destroyed them! He had to! He had to make whatever killed them suffer as he now did. Tim had long since given up hiding behind jokes and laughter. What was the point anymore? What was the point in anything?! Every good thing in his life was doomed to break!  _ He  _ was doomed to break! Like a ceramic vase covered in cracks. All it would take is enough pressure; enough of a final push and he would shatter entirely. It didn’t matter if it was him to press down on the cracks or some stranger. Tim just whatever higher beings were watching with amusement; watching eagerly as they made sure everything around him was full of fear and hate. 

If he had the chance to look back in hindsight, Tim would have admitted that he had been overly emotional in the House of Wax. He had barely listened to the plan or cared for the reason they were there. All he needed to know was that it would hinder the Stranger; it would hurt the entity that had taken away his loved ones. That was incentive alone. It was why he had no fear about pressing the detonator. It was why he wasn’t worried about what would happen next. Basira and Daisy had never been his friends. And Jon….Jon had changed and not for the better. Maybe this would be for the best. Maybe the two of them would finally get some peace. Tim never got to see the results of the explosion. He never found out that Jon had survived. That everyone survived but him. Though, that would have been about right. He did have terrible luck. 

It was in the aftermath of Tim’s death, when his apartment was being emptied of personal possessions, that the polaroid was found. In it stood a smiling couple with their arms wrapped around each other. The man was easily identifiable as Timothy Stoker but no one could identify the woman besides him. No one would ever recognise her. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated or hmu @ desert-lily on tumblr!


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